INTRODUCTION A lovely lady I know once suggested that I write a book about morality and character formation for young men. Now there are a bunch of them out there; most young men don't want to read them, and to be honest, when I was a younger man, I didn't want to read them either. And most of them are written by religious figures, health care professionals, and the like. So I passed. Really, who wants or needs one more lecture or sermon? Then she pointed two things out to me. First, there wasn't much out there that told the story through the eyes of an aging, broken down former playboy who had pretty much trashed his own love life. And secondly, that sometimes to appreciate white you have to understand black. So I sat down and here's Joey's story. Who knows, maybe an aging, broken down playboy can teach your son ... or grandson a thing or two? Introduction We live in a society filled with men who never discovered within themselves the best they could be, until they saw in themselves the worst they had become. No surprise there, it's often the way life deals the cards ... or, maybe better, the way we choose to play the hand. As men, let's be honest, to get what we want from life, don't we often take that long and winding road ... the road less traveled ... or, simply the back door. Admit it; we often make it hard on ourselves ... and others. Christian teaching tells us that even Jesus Christ Himself went through hell to get to heaven ... took the long route ... though I think His purpose was far more noble. And for Him, the final destination, far more certain ... When we were boys, we imagined the man we would become as an adult; a man of strength, character, and courage. A man to be admired. A success. Late tonight, when you look into your bathroom mirror, try to find that man. If you see no one staring back who looks anything like him, don't feel alone ... you're not ... As men, much of our self-image and self-respect in invested in our sexuality how we use it, and how we abuse it. One of life's sternest lessons that we all eventually learn is that a man cannot be a coward in one aspect of his life and courageous in the others ... character cannot be compartmentalized ... you are what you do. The man who loves his wife and respects both himself and his marriage will not spend his life lying, stealing, and cheating his way to the top. And the man who spends his life chasing the easiest bimbo available will not be a pillar of his community, his church, or even his marriage. Ultimately, we men will live in a manner consistent with the way in which we express our sexuality. We will come to understand that our behavior with our date tonight does affect who we are at work or play tomorrow, and for some, unfortunately, that understanding comes too late ... or never ... I have a friend named Brian who is a professor of ethics. One of the assignments he gives his students is to write their own obituary. It's an effort to get them to think beyond the present moment. If you did this right now, how would you see your life from its end? That you were a devoted and loving husband and father ... A strong man, a leader, one held in esteem by others? Or that you drifted through life, existing on a succession of one-night stands and failed relationships, both social and personal? That you were a failure. And that possibly your only accomplishment of any note in life might be your obituary; your life on a few inches of paper and news print that will eventually line some birdcage in an effort to keep its occupant from soiling the floor any further? Come on, you can do better than that. Can't you? An acquaintance once told me how amazed he was that his current girlfriend had had only three loves in her life. Of course, they were the Teamsters Union, the Dallas Cowboys, and the 82nd Airborne ... I know ... it's an old joke. But ask yourself; are you so promiscuous that you're in danger of becoming a joke? Or, to the women you desire ... are you one already?... ...Is it time to put your pants on and take your blinders off? ... |
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